WANTED
Job in an academic medical center on East Coast, preferably in cardiology but internal medicine, ER, hospitalist, or phlebotomy position acceptable too. Salary preferred, but package of benefits alone OK. Looking for some sort of academic title and small broom-closet style office, no windows fine. Call 617-555-6868, ask for Larry, Steve, Melinda, or Mark.

SEEKING
Attractive single 87 year old male seeks svelte female healthcare provider for frequent suctioning, maybe more. Incurable romantic with problematic secretions; enjoy quiet evenings at home, candle-light dinners (no added salt), occasional transfers to, from commode. Looking for single female, 18-35, interested in the finer things in life, and experienced with Yankauer suction device. Please apply Box 77. Include photo.

FOR SALE
Used crimson Harvard sweatshirt with white lettering, size XL. Small stain on left arm - otherwise clean, hardly worn. Xlent as conversation starter, stopper. Went to Harvard? Start talking about good ol' days immediately. Didn't go? Nothing stops conversations quicker than "So you went to Harvard? ...Nope." email: hpielori@harvard.gov