Top Ten CDC Objectives For “Healthy People 2010”
October 10, 2001
| 10. |
20% of population able to "clean and jerk" Danny DeVito
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| 9. |
Diminish sexually transmitted diseases 35% by encouraging frumpy appearance
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| 8. |
People with thick, lumpy toenails eliminated from population entirely
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| 7. |
Decrease fracture risk by encouraging adoption of puffy, rubberized suits by all youth
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| 6. |
Poverty associated with poor health, so encourage people to be rich
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| 5. |
Decrease falls by firmly attaching 15% of elderly to ceiling
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| 4. |
Reduce by half the incidence of hydatidiform moles, hydatidiform badgers, and hydatidiform racoons.
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| 3. |
Stamp out dental disease through national "GnawHealthy" program
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| 2. |
Expand needle-exchange programs to include knitting needle exchange vans for seniors
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| 1. |
Enhance safer sex efforts: flavored condoms to be available in Smoky Bacon, Sauerkraut n' Relish, and Spicy Taquito flavors
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Remember: Quality Without The Q Is Just Uality!
