Top 10 Clues Your Patient Might Have A Drinking Problem
As determined by your votes
September 20, 2000
| 10. | Carries medications in a plastic beer mug |
| 9. | Family history reveals son is named Pabst and daughter is named Bailey's |
| 8. | Will schedule no visits next month due to Oktoberfest |
| 7. | Asks for prescription for Texas catheter so he/she can sit through entire ballgame |
| 6. | Is running for re-election to Massachusettes Senate |
| 5. | Offers to let you borrow Miller Lite cooler for when you are transporting organs for transplant |
| 4. | Refuses fluconazole treatment because he thinks it will interfere with yeast, barley and hops combination |
| 3. | Makes you wipe his arm with Absolut Vodka prior to drawing blood |
| 2. | Tired of people criticizing drinking, feels guilty about drinking, has morning eye-opener, is only nine years old |
| 1. | Mental status exam reveals patient thinks Republican candidate for President is Anheuser Busch. |
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