"Since collapse of ruble, is hard to obtain enriched ox-testicle extract and clean syringe"

"Men are from Mars, women are from Venus? Gimme a break. Y'all are all from Fresno."

"I think I've made it real clear that I'm not gonna discuss unfounded rumors about drug use, whether it was by myself or by our nation's fine, upstanding senior citizens, including my Dad"

"For I have sailed far across the sea, to a wondrous land covered in trees and vines that we named Vineland.*"

*Couldn't get health insurance though, so we went back to Sweden.

"Then we stopped there and Robert wanted to fill his doxycycline prescription but I said no and there was a terrific row and all the while the sun shone through the pharmacy window and danced upon the floor like the bugs were dancing in Robert's urethra and we were all glad the day was so fine."

"OK, but I get to be on the $5 one"

"Eeep."

Translation: "From whence came man, there man shalt return"