Welcome to Q Fever!

June 14, 2000

Welcome! You are now holding, in your palsied cyber-fingers, the premeire edition of Q Fever!, Your #1 Source For Healthcare Misinformation!

Right here, every two to four weeks (depending on how nice you are to us) you'll find the absolute latest in healthcare news, articles, features, statistics, and other such nonsense... and it won't stop 'til the clerk has to call Security to haul you back out onto the streets where you belong!

At Q Fever!, we're simply not happy until... well, let's just say we have some serious emotional needs that will require some addressing. And that's where you, the healthcare professional (or salaried employee), come in!

You see, we here at Q Fever! believe in three things.

The first, "Do unto others as you do unto your brothers," is just a general sort of principle that all humans ought to adhere to. The same goes for the second, "Do unto others as you do unto their mothers;" both of these are universal sentiments that we feel everyone should share if we're to get along on this revolving slab of asphalt.

Our third belief, "Hippocrates," is technically not a belief at all; nor is it anything more than an idea or thought with no real substance to it. So never mind about that third one then.

Excited yet?

There's more! Here's just a sampling of what's in store for you each issue:

- Award-winning author Frank Brisbois, MD, will be reporting on wild animal habitats from the jungles of Burundi, where he's been missing for some time now. Western officials have been unable to establish contact with Dr. Brisbois despite years of negotiations, but we know you're out there, Frank!

- From the outer limits of Alpha Centurai, Centurian Federation Chairman Jama Nejm, ACP will be giving a unique day-by-day account of his plans and preparations for the complete annihilation of our galaxy and twenty others, leaving him sole and undisputed master of the known universe and beyond.

- Chuck Norris, star of Ivan, Texas Ranger and noted Infectious Disease enthusiast, will be offering exciting perspectives on such topics as nosocomial infections, wound & decubitus care, and the subtle and delightful nuances that make Karate the world's favorite flavor of ice cream (so to speak).

PLUS:

• JUMBLE, That Scrambled Word Game
• Marmaduke, That Scrambled Hound From Hell
• Horoscopes And Love Signs According To Buspar
• Q Fever!'s Streaming RealVideo Monkey Playhouse

And that's not the least of it!

So what are you waiting for? Get scrubbed in and ask the nurse for a stool - Q Fever!, Your #1 Source For Healthcare Bogosity, is going in with the Bovie!

Sincerely,

The Editors

Remember: Quality Without The Q Is Just Uality!