August 10, 2005 | Volume 5, Issue 1
 

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Medical Humor & Satire
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© Q Fever! 2000-2005
 
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September Is Chronic Pain Awareness Month
Healthcare workers encouraged to wear Duragesic® patches in observance

WASHINGTON, DC—In observance of this year's Pain Awareness Month, the National Pain Council (NPC) is urging all healthcare workers to wear Duragesic® (fentanyl) patches "in order to spotlight the need for more effective pain control."

Duragesic®

"Pain is the number one cause of adult disability in America today," said Dr. Kelly Reliford, director of the NPC since 1996. "The economic and social impact of chronic pain reaches all levels of our society, and translates to billions of dollars in lost wages, benefits, and medical expenses."

"That's why, this month, we're asking everyone in the healthcare industry to show their support by wearing Duragesic® patches in a highly visible area, such as on the face or hands, or on the neck."

Dr. Reliford, wearing a Duragesic® patch between her eyebrows, appeared calm and relaxed as she passed out patches to members of the audience, many of whom immediately applied two or three patches at once. Some were also seen secretly applying patches onto unsuspecting passerby.

"It's a great time to be a physician, with so many options for pain control," said Reliford. "Duragesic® can be useful for everyone, from infants to the elderly, and lasts a long, long time. I've grown quite fond of my Duragesic® and I'm sure all of you will, too!"

The NPC is also planning to designate October, November, December, January, February, March, April, May, June, July, and August as Chronic Pain Awareness Months, during which Reliford urges providers to experiment with other forms of controlled-release pain relief, "including self-injectable Diluadid and portable 24-hour intravenous morphine infusions."

"It's a real eye-opener," she said. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the back."

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Editor-In-Chief: C. Burnetti, MD | Editor-At-Large: M. Furfur, MD, PhD
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Disclaimer: This is a medical humor and parody website meant solely for entertainment purposes, and is not intended to recommend or advise regarding the prevention, diagnosis, or treatment of any medical illness or condition. Stories and articles are meant only to provide a brief, fleeting distraction from the wretchedness of reality, and are not intended to be insensitive, callous, or offensive, or to otherwise belittle the plight of those affected with any medical disease, condition, or illness. All names and descriptions of people are fictitious except for those of well-known public figures, who are the subject of satire. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. Medical Humor is just that: Medical Humor.