December 10, 2003 | Volume 4, Issue 3
 

Just like your
mamma used
to make it!

     
Medical Humor & Satire
For Healthcare Professionals
© Q Fever! 2000-2005
  
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BLACK STOOLS

Large number of black stools for sale. Most made of solid mahogany, perfect for sitting at the bar or playing cards at the bridge table. Others are by-product of upper GI bleeding combined with long transit time in the small and large intestine. All in excellent condition. Sizes vary from 3 1/2 feet high, to just small and tarry enough to squish in the palm of your hand. Maroon stools also available. Ask for Melanie.
SLIGHTLY USED INTRA-AORTIC BALLOON PUMP

 Only used once; still springy and bouncy when inflated. Afterload? You decide! Intravascular use possible, but consider placing in GI or GU tract for practical joke purposes and/or gentle rhythmic stimulation. Special “funkinator” attachment causes balloon to inflate/deflate in time to bass line of favorite tunes. A great stocking stuffer! Stop “procrastinatin” & call now. 205-993-2932.
LIQUID DRANO FOR YOUR ARTERIES

Dissolves cholesterol and other components of atheromatous plaques, plus hair, soap scum, and hard-to-remove bathroom buildup. Unique churning action melts fatty deposits and also feels terrific! Will eat right through your skin if left there long enough; otherwise as safe for your circulatory system as it is for your household plumbing and garbage disposal unit. On sale now at Walmart.
FOR SALE

150-page collection of medical humor and satire culled from the Q Fever! website, 2000-2002. Aimed towards healthcare professionals, but can be dug by just about anyone. Portable, concise, and packed with protein, carbohydrates and phat. Warning: may not be suitable for adults suffering from irony deficiency. Click here for more information.
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Editor-In-Chief: C. Burnetti, MD | Editor-At-Large: M. Furfur, MD, PhD
All rights reserved. © Q Fever!, LLC 2000-2005
Disclaimer: This is a medical humor and parody website meant solely for entertainment purposes, and is not intended to recommend or advise regarding the prevention, diagnosis, or treatment of any medical illness or condition. Stories and articles are meant only to provide a brief, fleeting distraction from the wretchedness of reality, and are not intended to be insensitive, callous, or offensive, or to otherwise belittle the plight of those affected with any medical disease, condition, or illness. All names and descriptions of people are fictitious except for those of well-known public figures, who are the subject of satire. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. Medical Humor is just that: Medical Humor.