October 10, 2001 | Volume 2, Issue 9
 

Just like your
mamma used
to make it!

     
Medical Humor & Satire
For Healthcare Professionals
© Q Fever! 2000-2005
  
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Top Ten CDC Objectives For
"Healthy People 2010"

10.

20% of population able to "clean and jerk" Danny DeVito
9.

Diminish sexually transmitted diseases 35% by encouraging frumpy appearance.
8. People with thick, lumpy toenails eliminated from population entirely.
7. Decrease fracture risk by encouraging adoption of puffy, rubberized suits by all youth.
6. Poverty associated with poor health, so encourage people to be rich.
5. Decrease falls by firmly attaching 15% of elderly to ceiling.
4. Reduce by half the incidence of hydatidiform moles, hydatidiform badgers, and hydatidiform racoons.
3.

Stamp out dental disease through national "GnawHealthy" program.
2. Expand needle-exchange programs to include knitting needle exchange vans for seniors.

 1. 

Enhance safer sex efforts: flavored condoms to be available in Smoky Bacon, Sauerkraut n' Relish, and Spicy Taquito flavors.

 
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Editor-In-Chief: C. Burnetti, MD | Editor-At-Large: M. Furfur, MD, PhD
All rights reserved. © Q Fever!, LLC 2000-2005
Disclaimer: This is a medical humor and parody website meant solely for entertainment purposes, and is not intended to recommend or advise regarding the prevention, diagnosis, or treatment of any medical illness or condition. Stories and articles are meant only to provide a brief, fleeting distraction from the wretchedness of reality, and are not intended to be insensitive, callous, or offensive, or to otherwise belittle the plight of those affected with any medical disease, condition, or illness. All names and descriptions of people are fictitious except for those of well-known public figures, who are the subject of satire. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. Medical Humor is just that: Medical Humor.