Homeopathy Found Effective For Hypochondriasis
Offers new alternative for treatment of debilitating disorder

STANFORD, CA--In a study published in the New England Journal Of Medicine this week, researchers from Stanford University Medical Center have announced that homeopathy is a safe and effective treatment for refractory hypochondriasis, a disorder affecting up to 45% of the American population.

Previously, the healing potential of homeopathy, an "alternative" therapy based upon the theory that any illness can be cured by ingesting exceedingly diluted quantities of the illness's cause, had been regarded with general skepticism within the medical community.

"Who would have thought," said researcher Dr. Stephen Kelton, "that by giving hypochondriacs what basically amounts to water, that so many would seem to get better?!"

The management of hypochondriasis, a crippling condition in which otherwise healthy persons are afflicted with chronic, nonexistent illnesses, has remained a mystery to generations of physicians.

Many have tried without success to quell the typical hypochondriac's anxiety and self-absorption through reassurance, logic, and/or a combination of both.

"To discover that homeopathy, a harmless but clearly bogus form of sham medicine responsible for defrauding the general public out of millions of dollars a year, works for this - it's a miracle," said Kelton.

Marjorie Thompson, a Bay Area hypochondriac who believes she has a chronic lung disorder, but actually does not, states that homeopathy has worked wonders for her.

"I was having trouble breathing again, because of the, you know, the terrible asthma I've got, and then about an hour after I took [the homeopathic remedy], I was like, Wow! This stuff really works!"

Side effects of homeopathy include decreased thirst, and increased urination.