September 20, 2000 | Volume 1, Issue 8
 

Just like your
mamma used
to make it!

     
Medical Humor & Satire
For Healthcare Professionals
© Q Fever! 2000-2005
  
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Top 10 Clues Your Patient
Might Have A Drinking Problem

10.

Carries medications in a plastic beer mug
9. Family history reveals son is named Pabst and daughter is named Bailey's
8. Will schedule no visits next month due to Oktoberfest
7. Asks for prescription for Texas catheter so that he can sit through entire ballgame
6. Is running for reelection to Massachusettes Senate
5. Offers to let you borrow Miller Lite cooler for when you are transporting organs for transplant
4. Refuses fluconazole treatment because he thinks it will interfere with yeast, barley and hops combination
3. Makes you wipe his arm with Absolut Vodka prior to drawing blood
2. Tired of people criticizing drinking, feels guilty about drinking, has morning eye-opener, is only nine years old

 1. 

Mental status exam reveals patient thinks Republican candidate for President is Anheuser Busch.
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Editor-In-Chief: C. Burnetti, MD | Editor-At-Large: M. Furfur, MD, PhD
All rights reserved. © Q Fever!, LLC 2000-2005
Disclaimer: This is a medical humor and parody website meant solely for entertainment purposes, and is not intended to recommend or advise regarding the prevention, diagnosis, or treatment of any medical illness or condition. Stories and articles are meant only to provide a brief, fleeting distraction from the wretchedness of reality, and are not intended to be insensitive, callous, or offensive, or to otherwise belittle the plight of those affected with any medical disease, condition, or illness. All names and descriptions of people are fictitious except for those of well-known public figures, who are the subject of satire. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. Medical Humor is just that: Medical Humor.