|
Infectious
Disease Society Names Alanis Morisette New National Spokesperson
BOSTON, MA--In a long-awaited
announcement, the American Society of Infectious Diseases (ASID) has named
singer-songwriter Alanis Morissette their new national spokesperson.
 |
|
Alanis
Morissette addresses the ASID convention
|
Dr. Alexandra Waldredge, chairperson
of the ASID spokesperson search committee, revealed the unorthodox decision
during an afternoon plenary session Tuesday in Boston.
When asked why the dissonant
musician, who has already begun her inevitable fade into pop oblivion,
was tapped for the ASID's most important public relations post, Dr. Waldredge
explained "well, if you don't know, then you clearly haven't heard the
song 'Thank You' with those incredible lyrics 'how bout getting off those
antibiotics,' and, besides, 'Isn't It Ironic' that she isn't even an American
citizen?"
Although it had been rumored
for some time that the inexplicably successful tunesmith might be appointed
ASID spokesperson, controversy erupted last week when it was revealed
that the singer had "recommend[ed] putting your foot in your mouth at
any time" on her 1996 album Jagged Little Pill.
Several members of the ASID
governing counsel objected to Morisette's recommendation as being unhygenic.
Morissette's attorney, Barry
Fishkewitz, confirmed that she will modify the lyric to: "I recommend
washing your foot thoroughly with soap and water, for at least 5 minutes,
before putting it in your mouth at any time", which "will deliver a message
that is more in accord with that of the ASID".
The ASID had been without
a national spokesperson since Kurt Cobain's untimely death in 1995. Cobain,
a well-known Infectious Diseases enthusiast, was chosen after his band
Nirvana released a song with the lyrics "I feel stupid and contagious;
here we are now - entertain us."
Asked by a member of the press
why the search committee had delayed so long in naming Cobain's replacement,
Dr. Waldredge exclaimed "a denial... a denial... a denial... a deniaaahhhhl."
Alanis Morissette could not
be reached for comment.
|
